nose bleeding...

sometimes reality sinks in at the most unexpected way.... you simply tell yourself to STOP....at some point 3years ago , i said stop and i stopped... :)

its about time to breathe deeply , be grateful of things, pray and definitely stop.... stop again and moveon...

like the traffic lights.. you SLOW down, then you Stop, and eventually GO...

enough that has been said and done... i just wanna smile and accept things the way they are...

thanks to NOSE Bleeding... it was a reminder that i need to stop...

at the bus stop an old woman was asking what bus is goin to Ang Mo kiO.. i said "169 auntie!"
She has mixed words of Chinese and English.. I couldnt really understand her other words.. told here to speak English and told her im a FILIPINO... she said, "really you are filipina? but you look like Indonesian... beautiful Indonesian!" hahahahahahahaha!!!!

"You think im beautiful auntie?" (kulit ko..haha.. auntie means "lola" here in singapore)
" yes u are.." and she was smiling with her tiny eyes...

Yes, il STOP thinking about imperfections, STOP blaming people, STOP hurting...

i still have reasons to smile .. reasons to be grateful of, reasons to just let go... haha.. im stil beautiful..and life is stil beautiful...

now, to let go is the sign of GO!!!

Desiderata

-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s -- Not "Found in Old St. Paul's Church"! -- see below
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

mum to be Mom!!!

i was waiting for my turn.. sitting at the corner, i noticed this woman who is obviously pregnant and at the same time she was also holding a 3-yr old lil girl, her eldest...Despite of havin big tummy,and soon to be mom of two, she looks so pleasant and pretty... i asked myself when will i be like her, a mom.. haha.. i honestly dream of becoming a mother of 7 beautiful , smart kids...haha.. yes.. as in 7! (haha gudlak sa akin)..hmmm... i am fond of kids.. i wanted to be a prep-school teacher..but unfortunately (not even given a single chance)i didnt take that path..my mom, oftenly ask me when am i goin to give her grandchildren.. at first i didnt take it seriously, as in, duh! hindi po ganun kadali.. but now, seems like im ready for it, of course with a loving , responsible husband to help me raise my babies...i want my kids to go into swimming at early age, i want them to join and get exposed to football or any kind of sports..i want them to join scouting, etc..i want my lil boy to get interested about cars, motocross, basketball, and my lil girl is into dancing, modelling, animals like horses and swimming too!

my imagination stopped when it was my turn to get inside the Doctor's room.. i had my medical check up coz i wasnt feelin well lately.. My doctor discussed that im doin fine, my blood profile is ok.. my chest x-ray is ok.. my heart is ok.. im just experiencing anxiety and im stil coping up , adjusting to my new environment..

suddenly,the doctor asked why i took up veterinary medicine, and not human medicine(tsismosa hehe)... i said, i wanted to be a Cardiologist.. ( coz i wanted to treat and cure my dad..) but i found out that veterinary medicine is more challenging.. She asked, isnt human medicine also interesting? that we are in charge of human lives?...... well, i said, i dont ask my patients whats the matter, i just get to know... isnt that more interesting doc? hahaha... and we both laughed..

after few minutes , the pregnant woman and her lil daughter came in..i smiled at her and said hello to her daughter named samantha...she asked if i have kids already.. i simply smiled ..( do i look like a mom already??!!)haha.. i just said, "In God's time, i will have 7 babies!" and we all laughed..the doctor said, "you know what, there are only few people like you who is not afraid to be a mother.. and you are not into material things...you have a norturing heart.." sabay sabi niya , "Your future husband is lucky to have you as his wife and mother of his kids ".... lintek!!! hahahahaha!!............... Yah, i know.. :)

i left the clinic feelin so much better.. a lot, lot better... :)

new friends..

went to attend a bday party tonight.. and i met new friends and other kapwa pinoy..

hmmm... sobrang sarap ng sisig!! yummy!!.. i remember Manman pag dating sa sisig..he introduced that kind of food to me.. speaking of manman, i always consider him special...kahit luko luko sya haha...

i think isa siya sa mga totoong taong nakilala ko... ay :( naalala ko siya ngayon...

i miss him .. as a friend... he loves my mom very much..

tama siya dati, not to trust Fakey... i should have listened..

miss u manman.. Godbless..

Going there......

i remember how this BROD of mine( from alpha phi omega) courted me when we were in highschool..he used to give me love letters, even that time his gf was one of the prettiest girls in our batch...who would really like him with that attitude in the first place!? haha.. i even destroyed his loveletter at the middle of our school field ( he recalled!!)... i belonged to the special science section that time and he belonged to the regular section..Since i was a lil popular that time, my crushes also belonged to the popular group..so i kept ignoring him.. i couldnt deny the fact the he is good looking, maputi, and malinis tignan and manamit!! haha.. i just couldnt take his love letters with so many "baduy" lines..susungkitin ko ang mga bituin ...ikaw ang buhay ko.. etc etc.. ( highschool days eh)..

i went to UP los banos and he was left in Vigan.. took engineering at first and ended with business management(im not so sure haha).. when i went home during the sembreak(2ndyear college) i saw him in our house with the other APO tropa.. ive known that day that he is a member of the frat already, (and i think my brother was the Grand Chancellor that time)..he continued courting me.. he was very vocal to my mom and to my bro regarding his feelings for me.. my mom and Maky like him because 1)he is not basagulero 2.) very respectful lalo na sa mama ko 3.)marunong makisama 4.) doesnt hve flowery tongue na mambobola ng babae...

i started to like him too but no choice but to hide my feelings for him.. i needed to go back to manila and finish school..

after college, at some point , we had special communication.. we just couldnt consistently get connected with each other because of our priorities..

last year we talked to each other, he knew i have a bf that time, and i know he was hurting..

but he kept tellin me , anyhow, he will make a way to succeed and improve his life to win my heart..

just like last night..he called me up..telling how much he stil loves me.. and wel get married two years from now after his contract ..hahahahahaha! i dont know what to say!

he knows what i feel.. i always tell him about what i feel..

right now, im happy that he is there for me... God has His own way and He leads us to our destined happiness.. siya na kaya??

hmmm.....hope he wont change... malay natin...right now, im enjoying and im happy ..

Real Fake...

"Hate me for who I am, Instead of loving me for what I'm not"


yes. it should be like that... i should have hated fakey for who he really is, because fakey has showed me himself as someone he is not and i was fooled to love and believe him...thats why it holds true that fakey is a real fake...

yes, i should hate you for being who you are... just fond of laughing, fooling, drinking, hurting people, dosnt really care about other people.... instead of loving you for who you are not coz i thought you are responsible , committed, stands his words, man enough, etc.. to my dismay, it was long enough to realize that ...

hahaha!! whew... everythin is so funny now... ive been into a comedy situation.. jeez? how come i ever indulged myself into a situation and been fooled...

Anyway, im just human.. i charged it to experience...hmmm, i just hope that evrybody is happy..

.. everythin happened for a reason.. i came to experience this for me to learn that we should trust no one!! and that in this messy world, there are people that mess up with our lives.. and that makes them happy and fullfilled...:) Amen..

Birthday!! Beerday?!

well, no plans yet for my big day.. baka nasa pinas ako nun..hahahaha! JUly 24 ... the reason why im so excited about it is because it is also my dog's bday, my baby Coky!!!

My lil girl Adi (my jack russel)turned 1 year old last june 4..belated happy bday switie!!

i do miss them sobra.... but i know my mom is taking care of them ..i will see them soon..

Farewell to some friends in my friendster..

yah, sad to say i have to delete some of my friends from my friendster... its not that uve done somethin wrong with me, but pls understand that i really have to.. im happy the way things are now.. i got new friends that cheer me up, new ones that really make my life more colorful now... i cant dwell with so much painful things in the past.. pls dont blame me, that im cutting all the connections..hmmm, im like this.. i totally forget things, forget people in order for me to grow.. surprisingly, everyday i get new friend requests to approve and thats it.. i want to have a new life with other people..

im avoiding a "fake" person.. i dont want to get connected with Fakey anymore.. i have to sacrifice deleting some friends who happen to be Fakey's friends..i had enough.. i hope Fakey is happy... im not mad, im not angry..i dont know how to hate, Fakey knows that..but i have to delete fakey completely in my life... fakey wouldnt mind i know.. :)

i need "real" people, real friends in my life.. not those opportunists like Fakey.. sorry , but i mean it..

God bless to all of us..

my Boss.. superman!!

hmm, our big boss just got back from Tokyo...i call him superman, not as good as superman but the things he would pick up can fly at his most unpredictable mood..ahahah.. scary...

duno how to face him tom .. havent seen him cos its my off day today.. but our other vet tech told me, superman just bought things for my room like extra cabinets, bookshelves plus he already fixed our newly bought monitor (so huge and expensive).. mind you, im just the one using the internet.. hahahaha!!its located in our sala for the public to use but i feel like its really for me..haha ..asa pa ko..hehe..we are only 3girls at home eh..

hmm...actually, he is a very strict boss.. everyone is intimidated.. i was never intimidated in my who life..sa kanya lang... hahaha

there was even one time, since im the newest member of the team, i ddnt exactly understnd his words.. and i said come again doc? he made his voice louder and said, "i mean open the cage!!" haha.. akalain mo, i heard it like, Pin di Kig..sounds chinese! visaya man ay! harhar!!

yah.. tom is another scary day.. how i wish he has jetlag and wont go to work hehe.. the other vets are cool.. but him , jeez!!

in fairness, he is sweet.. i just need to get used to his moody moods..he knows how to calm down din namn..

gudlak sa akin..more stories to tell about him i swear! haha!

gudnyt!

Take a look!!

Our well appointed surgery suites are equipped with the best modern anesthetic equipment, life monitoring systems, orthopedic tools and much more.

Our laboratories have very advanced capabilities and can perform a comprehensive battery of tests such as blood cytology (cell examination); skin/gastro-intestinal/blood parasite testing; blood chemistry testing and much more. We regularly audit our laboratories and conduct external checks to maintain the highest standards. Our lab is also affiliated with a wide network of laboratories in the Australasian region.

Doc clara doing the UP sign hahaha!! Oblation!!

We are very proud of our extensive medical facilities. We regularly upgrade and invest in new equipment to serve you better. All our clinics are equipped with modern x-ray machines. We also have ultrasound machines for scanning soft tissue such as the heart organ. Our state-of-the-art diagnostic equipment facilitates quicker and more accurate diagnoses while minimizing the need for more invasive and risky procedures. Our laboratories have very advanced capabilities and can perform a comprehensive battery of tests such as blood cytology (cell examination); skin/gastro-intestinal/blood parasite testing; blood chemistry testing and much more. We regularly audit our laboratories and conduct external checks to maintain the highest standards. Our lab is also affiliated with a wide network of laboratories in the Australasian region.

up up there at mount pleasant :)

Me, in front of Mount Pleasant.. photo was taken after working hours... Mount Pleasant actually has many branches..we have the main hospital, emergency hospital, north branch, springside.. Here is where i am assigned, and im grateful of it coz i dont need to travel goin to work everyday..our flat is just beside the clinic, upstairs...

Is it love anyway??

--“Love is worth fighting for if you think it’s real and you feel loved in return,” .... korek.... from Regine Velasquez.. at PDI

this is the statement of my friend too, who just had a break up with her bf... (seems applicable to me? hahaha!!! )... the guy just suddenly said its over and forget each other.... wow! ouch!

she said...
"the hell, i am a doctor!!! who is he anyway, teddy bear!! "
"nobody liked him, but me!! thanks to me!! "
" he is not brad pitt, the fishball vendor even looks better!"
" he has big tummy!not even tall! not even rich!!"
"no guts, no balls!"

with matching ..... HuHuHuHu!


Yah, i know Celine doesnt really mean those words... but i cant blame her for the hurt.. I dont take it as bitterness, but sometimes, really, guys just dont realize who they are anyway..oppps, just trying to pinpoint those guys feeling so gwapo, too high to reach, for in fact they are absolutely just ordinary guys with poor profile... the least thing they should do, just be honest. sincere, and humble themselves.. just be real gentlemen..thats the point!

whew!!! oh well, i believe that God has His own plans for all of us..

Celine , my friend, move on.. you have a beautiful career, you are beautiful, many fish in the ocean..cheer up.. let karma work on him...harhar!! lol!!!

Kanya- kanyang trip po..

Sleeping!!!
Smiling!!!

picture taking!!!

these are definitely my habits!! haha!

"X-gf" over spilled milk...

(my opinion) yes i think SHE is bad.. i duno.. i just feel it.. with all her scary facial expressions and finger signs, plus the way she expresses her words are all signs of being NO- BREEDING at all.. i pity this girl who i think always so insecure of me.. im not doin anything to her.. in fact i dont know her and i dont care who is she.. all i heard,shes coming from a broken family that reflects all these bad attitudes she has..

i dont hate her.. i pity her a lot.. if only i get to meet her, il tell her that my dogs are more loved than she is..my dogs DONT BITE!! cos i teach them how to behave , and act accordingly..

i hope shell stop being so insecure..she should focus on how she would improve her life rather than spoiling other people's lives.. i suggest she should seek advice from the parents..

now, if shes trying to show shes alryt, well, sorry but she seems not..stop being so judgemental and mind your own business too.. be careful of your words as well, it refects your personality..

im sorry if u think im a treat to your life.. have your own way.. make somethin that will boost your ego in a positive way,,

May God bless you.. i mean it.. may God give u peace of mind.. God bless..

my pets, my babies..

truly, im missing them so bad... my Coky, Adi, Bailey, Tequila, .. Coky gave birth to five pups thats why im a grandmother again for the second time..harhar!

help me give them names pls..haha.. 3 males, 2 females..

Baby, Tiki, Goofy, Mario and Tiger... haha! reminds me of our patients.. anyway il be giving them away to chosen friends.. il let them decide.. my poodle Bailey is also on the way.. im so excited to see all these little pups.. yah, when it rains, it pours..hehehe...

a lovesong of LOVE... :)

Shania Twain
When You Kiss Me
This could be it, I think I'm in love
It's love this time It just seems to fit, I think I'm in love
This love is mine I can see you with me
when I'm olderAll my lonely nights are finally over
You took the weight of the world off myShoulders (the world just goes away)
[Chorus:]
Oh, when you kiss me
I know you miss me
And when you're with me
The world just goes away
The way you hold me
The way you show me
that youAdore me oh, when you kiss me
Oh, yeah You are the one, I think I'm in love
Life has begun
I can see the two of us together
I know I'm gonna be with you forever
Love couldn't be any better[Repeat chorus]
I can see you with me when I'm older
All my lonely nights are finally over
You took the weight of the world off myShoulders (the world just goes away)[
And when you kiss me
I know you miss me
Oh, the world just goes away
When you kiss me

Have you ever heard this song?? i absolutely love this song... its for my future love :) my future prince..

I actually heard this song from my friend jennifer's profile in friendster..and i cant help but appreciate it evrytime i play this song...

a while ago, at the bus stop, on my way home from Woodlands,i saw a couple sitting in front of me.. they looked so in love with each other that the girl kept smiling and blushing.. :) the guy was intensely staring at her while telling about somethin..we got the same bus and still i noticed they were holding hands and the girl leaning on the guy.. wow..how sweet.. the guy took a glance at me and smiled at me.. i also smiled back ..

wala lang... :) well thats the spirit of love.. haha! i've been into it for so many times that i get to realize that l0ve just come and go..

no bitterness.. if love isnt yours then let it go..

hmmmm... love is evrywhere though, i know... haha..hmmm, well let love move itself.. i can wait for love.. love can also wait for me..

agree? agree....

the best dad...my Dad!!..(daddy's girl..)

Happy Father's Day to all fathers out there!!! :) yah, i know it was yesterday.. but since my father is not around anymore ( hes now my angel ), the real day doesnt bring significance to me.. although its my tradition to greet all the father that are close to me, either i make it a day before the celebration or a day after..

I was a daddy's girl... My big bro was (or i should say still) a mamas boy.. :) I guess that is always the scenario... Even i just had 15years with my father (he passed away when i was 15..) his worth as a father is incomparable and for me, he is still the best dad this world has ever had....

He was very proud of me...
at the age of 1 to 3..mind you, i was born with cute tiny dimples that catchd people's attention haha!! i was born already with a pleasant disposition in life.. he hugged me with so much love and treated me like a princess..

at the age of 4 to 6... i got the talent of talkin to people, singing ( i didnt have the voice though), dancing, hyperactive, bubbly lil girl!.. he would bring me almost anywhere he goes, (at the camp, farm, mountains, friend's house ) he exposed me to different kinds of people..carpenter, businessman, colonels, barangay captains, farmers,priest, generals..

at the age of 7 to 12 ... he taught me how to value education.. he imparted on me lessons in life and emphasized that quality achievements will mold me of who i will become in the future... i always wanted him to pin my ribbons and medals.. he was very proud of me..he was my constant voice at home whenever i want to join things like girls scouting, extra curricular activities in school, my mom that time was very particular of the things i wanna join in..

at the age of 13 to 15.. he taught me to aspire and set goals.... he wasnt strict at all .. he wanted me and my bro to experience life and he never ran out of advice.. he was a cool dady that he even wanted me to have suitors, "coz like a flower without beez around it would mean its ugly".. that was his usual line :)

A week before he passed away,( he was havin Rheumatic heart disease), he told me to take up Veterinary Medicne.. my mother was yelling, contradicting his plans for me.. mom wanted me to take up Accounting in UST.. She hated the idea of me getting involved with cows, and carabaos, and horses, with all her morbid imagination that these creatures would lead me to fractures, traumatic experiences etc.. but my dad simply told her... "I want my daughter to grow up dealing with people..i want her to work with the different kinds of people from the society.. the poor and the rich.. i dont want her working or staying in a four-corner room with uniforms..I want her to value life..animals ,people... all the like "
Well, we had no choice but to choose VETERINARY MEDICINE from the course list of UP and took the UPcat examination.. and before i knew it, years and years later,i finished the degree smilling and proud ... and so grateful that i simply followed what he wanted me to be..

If im goin to elaborate all the things he has done for me, it will take me years to tell it... I miss him everyday, during my ups and downs, when im sick, when im scared, ... but surprisingly, his spirit pushes me to move on, and encourages me to just take life as it is, enjoy it... Ive gone this far because of him..and Him... my two Fathers that guide me and love me unconditionally..

Happy Father's DAy to my uncle Kleng, to my Brother Maky....

God bless us all..

Hmmmm..... a fren of mine texted me this morning...she also greeted me and said Happy father's day sa mga lalakeng gagawing mong ama!! harharhar!!! that made my day :)

slowly, but surely.. :)

meet Torta.. shes a patient which eventually the owner just decided to give it to me..

shes so small ! isnt she?! yah, i was really amazed of her color and features very unique!! i came to stare at her , with her hard shell, and boring lifestyle, (obviously, very slow moving, not askin' for anything!)....I was wondering how come she manages to live with such a heavy shell, tiny feet, and an ugly snake-like face?harhar!Doesnt even bother to beg for food?Life for her is just like that! :)

i put Torta in a basin and placed it in my room.. and while i was cleaning the other day, i saw Torta, with its head up, as if she was tellin me somethin'..... I think she was asking me.. " ei, imee are u happy? " ..... " imee, take ur time "... "

why the hell, these two imaginary questions just popped out from my mind .... i duno.. felt like this tortoise, is a contant reminder that no matter how eager i am to experience more about life, it doesnt necessarily mean im happy... am i not happy of wher i am now? of what im doin? and who i turn to be after doin all thse things...??

But I WILL TAKE MY TIME... il take time to adjust, il take time to recover, il take time to go slowly..il take time to move on.. i will be happy...il take time to pray so He wont leave me at the middle of my struggles being alone..away from my family..with heartaches..worries..

and Torta just promised to be with me.. shel be here with me no matter what..

i thank her for reminding me that i dont need extra moves and speed to be happy.. one day at a time, slowly but surely, life will get better.. :)

a shrimp to remember :)

we had a very nice, enjoyable lunch!!!

thanks to Clara who did the cooking of a sinigang made up of shrimp , kangkong, tomatoes, plus of course, i did prepare patis and kalamansi with sili!! yummy!

our Vet in charge Doc Denise, a singaporean was simply watching us eat.. I was secretly not makin her notice that im having a hard time peeling off the scales (whatever u call it!)..hehe
..i love shrimp!! and it reminds me of love...

as i was trying to savor the soup and the meaty creature, i came to remember my dad... Someone who was very patient to prepare my food..he would clean it and place it in my plate ready for me to eat..when he passed away no one has ever dared to do it, or i should say i never let any one do it..i always choose to do it or simply not eat..

Melvin, the guy i came to know and loved did the efforts too.. i appreciated it so much that he was able to do it while we were havin dinner at Dampa..thats the time i also realized he is someone who can do me little favors that really mean a lot to me..

and yah, sad to say this time no ones gonna do it again.... and yes, like grown ups, i have to get used to it.. and i will just wait for another special man who will offer to do such little special favor for me.. i hope so...

RUSH HOURS!!

well, life has just changed..from the moment i received a phone call from DR KAsey, way back in pinas rt after holy week, felt like i had an instant change of life...things werent as easy, to decide wether i accept the job offer here in singapore, or just manage my clinic and continue life the way it is...i prayed hard so i can get answers to my confusions. I was thinkin that rare chances like this knocks once in a lifetime. ..til i finally fixed evrythin' like havin a vet to manage my clinic, had a yaya for my dogs, talked to mom regarding family set up ( me and my clinic versus her apo :), settled accounts, settled bills, etc..etc..i had a little time believe me!.. Plus the pressure of havin melvin, who that time was in pinas adding up all the trouble i came up with..i had to fix my plane ticket, which i had a hard time inserting the schedule of confirming it because i was sooooo busy..i was so preoccupied..i needed to arrange a despedidda party coz my clients and friends were all requesting for it..i even had a last minute rebooking 'coz i had to go home to the province coz my lolo was in the hospital 50/50 and everybody was telling me to see him for the lastime before i leave coz he might die anytime..(on my third day here in singapore, he passed away)..And that was it!! As soon as i got to the airport i knew it, it is goin to be a different stage of my life.. Sitting there waiting for departure, i couldnt explain the feeling of separation anxiety..i was talking to a new friend, and it wasnt obvious at all the fear i had inside me..the fear of facing a new life.. fear of leaving pinas, leaving my love ones, leaving my simple happiness...and a fear of a new ME...
I woked up the following day having a diffferent world already,..(this is it!this is it).. i was silently crying in my room.. it was the very first day without my dogs kissing me and greeting me a happy morning..but i just told myself that sooner or later il get used to it..at least for the meantime.. i still have the choice to change evrythin though..but for now, i just need to embrace this new life..welcome it into my system.. try to love it and try to experience the difference..whew! God be with me...